Finding Your Purpose (The North Star)
Part 1 in "Charting Your Path: A Guide to a Meaningful Life"
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” - Pablo Picasso
I believe our purpose in life is to find the highest and best use of our unique talents. We do this by finding the overlap between the things that we are uncommonly talented at, the things that give us energy, and the things that society needs. This combination is unique for everyone.
You could be a street sweeper or a world leader. The key is that you're giving back to the world in the best way that you can. This is the path to meaning and fulfillment, and it is possible for everyone.
As Greg Kimura says in his beautiful poem Cargo, “You enter life a ship laden with meaning, purpose and gifts sent to be delivered to a hungry world. And as much as the world needs your cargo, you need to give it away."1
Let’s begin.
1. Identify What Gives You Energy
Asking someone what their passions are can be a very intimidating question. However, when you ask someone what energizes them, or what drains them, they tend to know immediately.
Think about the activities, projects, or work that truly energize you. What leaves you feeling more fulfilled rather than drained?
Write down at least three activities that bring you energy. It could be work-related, hobbies, or time spent with people.
For example, a few things that bring me energy are:
Learning from a wide variety of sources to find the overlapping principles on how to live a good life
Having deep 1:1 conversations with people
Sharing my insights with others
If this is challenging to you, imagine a day where you have no obligations and complete freedom. What are some things you would naturally choose to do that make you feel alive or fulfilled?
2. Find What You’re Uncommonly Good At
Reflect on the skills or abilities that set you apart. These may be things that others have complimented you on, or areas where you seem to achieve success with relative ease.
Some people might say, “I’m not uncommonly good at anything.” Not so! The bar here is not Einstein-level. It’s precisely what it says: what are you better at than the common person? That’s it.
Write down the skills or strengths that come to mind. Ask trusted friends or colleagues if you’re not sure—they often see strengths we overlook.
Tip: Consider identifying your Three Uniques2—the three biggest differentiators that set you apart. The combination of these three is what makes your contribution special. Others may share one or two of these attributes, but the overlap of all three is often very unique to you.
3. Look for Overlap
Your North Star is often found at the intersection of what energizes you and what you’re uncommonly good at.
You might consider what society needs as well, but I tend to find that society values energy and expertise brought to any area.
Example:
I love finding key principles for living a happy, high-impact life, and I love sharing them to help people.
I’m uncommonly good at learning across disciplines, building relationships, and some hard skills like finance and business management.
My Three Uniques are my deep interest in philosophy & theology, my expertise in running businesses, and my experience in using software to solve problems.
Additionally, I believe society needs business leaders who are thoughtful, compassionate, and servant-minded.
So, some possibilities of what could make sense for me are things like running a business, managing people, being an executive coach, or perhaps creating a software platform to help with aspects of those (which, it just so happens, I do!)
Ask yourself: Based on what gives you energy and what you’re uncommonly good at (your Three Uniques), what are some possible paths that could make sense for you? Write this down.
If you aren’t immediately struck with a big revelation, don’t feel discouraged. Just write down some ideas without clinging too tightly to them. This is a process of self-discovery.
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.'" - Martin Luther King, Jr.
4. Let Go of What Drains You
Finding your North Star also means recognizing what doesn’t align. Think about what drains your energy—whether it’s certain jobs, relationships, or activities you’ve held onto because of expectations or fear.
Write down at least one thing you feel ready to let go of to create space for what truly matters.
Letting go of what drains you creates the space and energy to focus on your North Star and the actions that align with your guiding direction.
5. Optional: Create a Mission Statement
Once you’ve identified your North Star, it can be helpful to define a mission—a practical step that describes what you are doing right now to move toward your North Star. It can be very clarifying to have these statements written out for reference.
North Star: A concise statement of the guiding direction for your life—the “why” behind everything you do.
Example: To use my unique experience and insights to help others lead happier, healthier, and higher-impact lives.
Mission: A clear, actionable statement of what you are currently doing to move toward your North Star—the “how” and “what.”
Example: To build a company that allows me to positively impact people at scale by leveraging & deepening my understanding of management, communication, and leadership.
Based on your North Star, ask yourself: What actions are you currently taking to move in that direction? Consider crafting a simple mission statement that captures this.
As you go through this process, remember: you don’t need a perfect answer right away. The reality is that no such thing exists. Your North Star and mission will evolve over time, so choose a direction that feels right and take action. You can always adjust as you go - it’s your life. Pick a direction, start marching, and be open to change.
In the next section, we will define our Core Values, the Compass we use to keep moving toward our North Star.
Next Section: Defining Your Core Values (Compass)
Thank you to Will Blackburn for sharing this poem with me.
The Three Uniques is an idea adapted to this context from the EOS Framework
What a phenomenal breakdown Peter. This framework is so clever. Will apply it this year.